Letter to my First Love.

Because I know that you’re too cocky, please do not flatter yourself while reading this. I’m writing this not because I’m not over you, but to say that you will always be special to me.

To be honest, this is not the first letter that I posted online about you and I’m pretty sure you have not read any of it.

I just want to say, thank you. I didn’t know what the butterflies feels like until I met you. Since then, I have always liked the feeling of getting that feeling whenever I talk to you. It has been years that passed, but the kilig is still there. It kind of feels the same, you know.

In grade school, when we still do not mind about how well we look or if we have dirt in our nose or make any effort to notice each other, the best memory that I have was when you wanted to give me a piggy back ride but I kept on saying no because I was too shy for you to notice how much I really wanted to do anything with you. I guess, I will always regret that I said no.

I regret not putting an effort for us to be close friends. I regret not knowing that you had plans of leaving for good. I regret not being able to talk to you the soonest. I regret we didn’t have the chance of falling in love. We almost did, but I know we were both afraid to risk.

I hated you at the same time. I hated not knowing you that much. I hated you for being inconsistent. I hated our time difference because you live on the other side of the globe and either/both of us have to make an effort to stay up late just to chat. I hated the inconvenience, but it was okay. For me, if it’s the only way that I could talk to you, the eye bags will surely pay off.

Now that we have different lives to live, I wish you the happiness that life can give. I know that you’re enjoying your new relationship because you’re not talking to me anymore. Haha! Why are you like that? Why can’t you just treat me as someone you can talk to about anything and any time. Are you afraid that I might fall in love with you again? Lol. Nah. I guess I’ve learned already that we can’t be more than friends. But, I am happy for you. I guess you have found the one that understands you and that you can be with whenever you want. You’re lucky.

I hope that one day, if time permits, we could meet again. We may not be able to re-live how we were in the past but to be good friends is enough.

All the best. Hope to see you soon.

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